Registry timing: when to set yours up before the wedding

The right time to publish a wedding registry is when save-the-dates go out, roughly six months before the wedding. Earlier and your registry sits half-built and gets indexed in a half-finished state. Later and you miss bridal-shower season, the single biggest gift-giving window before the day itself.

Here's the month-by-month version.

6 months out: build, don't publish

Open the registry. Add 15-20 items. Set up at least one cash fund with a real name and a real story. Do not share the link.

This is the build phase. The point is to have a registry that already feels considered before any guest sees it. A registry with three items and a "Honeymoon fund" placeholder reads as half-hearted; the same registry with 20 items and a specifically-named fund reads as ready.

Things to nail down now:

• Your registry URL or vanity slug (so it doesn't change later)
• Your cash funds with real names ("First home in Brooklyn", not "House fund")
• 60-70% of the items you'll ultimately have
• Your registry's intro paragraph (three sentences, no apologizing)
• Your payment setup if using a cash-fund platform (Stripe Connect onboarding takes ~3 minutes; do it now, not the night before save-the-dates)

If you're on a platform that takes a cut of cash funds, this is also the moment to reconsider it. A 2.5% fee on $8,000 of cash funds is $200, pulled from gifts your guests intended for you. Donum is 0% on cash funds and lets you mix items and funds in one link.

5 months out: save-the-dates ship

Save-the-dates go out. The registry link goes on your wedding website (and only your wedding website, never on the save-the-date itself; that's still a live etiquette rule).

What guests do at this stage: a few enthusiastic relatives buy early. Often the highest-AOV gifts get claimed in this window because the people closest to you want to grab the meaningful items before they're gone. Don't over-engineer for it. Just make sure the top of your registry has 4-5 items at varied price points so early shoppers have options.

4 months out: bridal shower planning

If there's a bridal shower, the host is starting to plan it now. Your registry needs to be in good shape because shower invitations will reference it.

This is when you finish the registry. Get to your full set: 25-40 items plus your funds is plenty for most couples. Pad to 80 items only if your tradition expects it; otherwise, fewer-and-better converts better.

Audit pass:

• Every item has a clear name, image, and price (no broken scrapes)
• Price ladder is real: items below $50, items $50-150, items $150-400, a few above
• Funds have specific narratives, not "general fund" framing
• Group gifting is enabled on anything above $200

3 months out: bridal shower and first wave

Showers happen. The first concentrated wave of gifts arrives. Two specific things to do:

1. Mark items received as they come in. This prevents a guest from claiming a gift on the registry that's already physically with you, which leads to duplicates and awkward returns.
2. Start your thank-you tracker now. A purchased-items list on a real registry already has the giver's name attached; export it weekly. Write thank-yous in waves, not in one heroic post-wedding session you will hate yourself for.

This is also the moment to add anything that came up during the shower. Guests will tell you, sometimes directly, what they were hoping you'd registered for. Listen.

2 months out: invitations ship

Wedding invitations go out. Your registry traffic spikes. The week after invitations is the second-largest gift-buying window after showers.

What to check:

• Registry link works on mobile (most guests will be on phones)
• Vanity URL is correct in every place it appears
• Cash-fund platform isn't holding payouts (KYC issues should already be cleared)
• "Almost out" items are restocked or marked unavailable

Do not panic-add 20 more items because the registry feels thin. A registry that's 70% claimed two months out reads as well-loved, not under-stocked. Guests who arrive late will gravitate to your cash funds, which is fine: that's what funds are for.

1 month out: rebalance

By now, the standard pattern is items mostly claimed and cash funds 50-70% funded. Two adjustments help:

• Add 2-3 modest items if your remaining inventory is all high-AOV. Late shoppers want a $40-80 option.
• Top up your cash-fund items if a sub-item is fully funded ("first night in Tokyo, funded ✓") so the page still feels active. Add another night, another dinner, another room.

This is also the right time to send a soft nudge on your wedding website ("for anyone who's asked, a few things are still on our list"). Not pushy. Once.

Wedding week: freeze and track

Stop adding items. Mark anything received and anything coming via mail. The week of the wedding is not the time to discover a duplicate Dutch oven.

After the wedding: leave the registry up for 3-4 weeks. A meaningful fraction of cash gifts arrive after the wedding from guests who couldn't attend, or who simply waited. Closing it the day after costs you real money.

Quick checklist

1. Six months out: build the registry, don't publish
2. Five months out: link goes on the wedding website with save-the-dates
3. Four months out: registry finalized for shower invitations
4. Three months out: shower hits; start thank-you tracking now
5. Two months out: mobile-check everything before invitations ship
6. One month out: rebalance with smaller items and refreshed funds
7. Wedding week: freeze the registry, leave it open 3-4 weeks after

The bottom line

Six months out, build it. Five months out, publish it. After that, the work is small adjustments and tracking, not heroic effort. A registry that's been live and considered for half a year converts better than one rushed up the week of save-the-dates.

Related reading: How to register for a house down payment fund and How to ask for a honeymoon fund without being weird about it.

The registry that wins is the one that was already done before anyone needed to see it.